07 June 2008

Headline News

Since my last pathetic sounding post, I've been wanting to tell you how good God has been to me. Sometimes, I wonder if I'll begin sounding redundant talking about His incredible goodness and how sweet He's been to me. Then I remember these words from Psalm 145 (The Message)...

I'll bless you every day,
and keep it up from now to eternity.
3 God is magnificent; he can never be praised enough.
There are no boundaries to his greatness.
4 Generation after generation stands in awe of your work;
each one tells stories of your mighty acts.
5 Your beauty and splendor have everyone talking;
I compose songs on your wonders.
6 Your marvelous doings are headline news;
I could write a book full of the details of your greatness.
7 The fame of your goodness spreads across the country;
your righteousness is on everyone's lips.

So, apparently I can't say it enough. And as I continue to discover in my own life, "There are no boundaries to his greatness." Ever since the sun set on Black Monday, I've been having a wonderful week. Still incredibly busy, still intense, still lots of work to do, but really great. God has been my shield and protector and my joy. He has given me the gift of a much healthier perspective on life than that which I possessed on Monday. He has just been good. I KNOW that I have seen Him at work in me because of so many of you praying for me, and I cannot begin to say how incredibly grateful I am to each of you. Prayer has made a HUGE difference in my life this week. I've had God just surrounding me with so many people loving me, listening to me, laughing with me, encouraging me, and working alongside me and playing with me. What fabulous, fabulous friends He has given me.

One of the highlights of my week happened Tuesday morning sitting at my desk when my cell phone rang. Wonder of all wonders, it was my sweet friend Abby calling me all the way from Kurdistan! Wow, so great to hear her voice and just get caught up. She had read about my Monday saga and just wanted to see how I was doing. How precious is that? (side note: Please, please, please be praying for God's goodness to bring complete healing to Abby as she's feeling sick again.) Then on Wednesday I had a three hour therapy session...Also known as an hour and a half in Starbucks and another hour and a half in the car after we got kicked out with my incredible friend T. We decided that the price of a Tall White Chocolate Mocha is a lot cheaper than seeing a therapist. Seriously, I love those times to listen and be listened to. :)

And really, God just continued pouring goodness into my life whether it's laughing in the office, getting excited with Kase about her new Chaco's, setting up for a meeting, playing cards last night, my sister giving my dog a 3 day haircut (trust me, that's love), or enjoying seeing so many people I love at our Camp Sponsor Meeting today. But wait. There's more. Back up to last night when I saw that my brother-in-law was planning on making a huge batch of guacamole to take to their family outing today. I grieved a bit down deep in my soul knowing that I wouldn't be partaking of the much loved guacamole. Thing is my b-i-l makes THE best guacamole on the planet. I'm not kidding. And trust me, I'm a guacamole snob, but Terry has a way with avocados that just can't be explained. I even meant to leave a note this morning begging them to leave me just a teeny little bit for me. But alas, I don't think too well before 8 in the morning and I forgot. Sad for me. So as I'm driving home, I find myself secretly hoping that maybe, just maybe, they left some for me. I was hoping, but yet trying not to get my hopes up at the same time. (Not that it ever works, but I sometimes try to push down my "hopefulness" in an attempt to prevent disappointment in the end. Still haven't figured out how to balance hope and faith with wisdom and realism in the midst of the "inbetween." But, are we called to be realistic? Or is that a defense mechanism...hmmm...maybe those are thoughts for another day.) Anywho, so then I pull up in the driveway, let the dogs outside, and then tentatively making my way toward the fridge. I open the door and don't see anything. And then, I see it. It's there. The most beautiful tupperware you've ever seen with green fluffy goodness inside it. Sigh. And it's not just a little dab either. It's enough to really have some guac, ya know. And then I realize we even have tortilla chips. Yes, there is a God! And his love never ever quits.

02 June 2008

Sowing and reaping

Psalm 126:5
Those who sow in tears
shall reap with shouts of joy!

It seems like I'm doing a lot of sowing these days and longing for the reaping. I'm pretty stinking tired of sowing at the moment, and especially sowing tears. I'm just not super happy or spunky today, mostly just overwhelmed, stressed-out, and in a bit of a funk. Sowing tears today and I don't like it. I don't like my job at all today...which is extremely rare for me. And I'm not a huge fan of being 34 and single today either. I've felt really alone today, even though I've been with people or answering the phone nonstop. Today has been hard and I'm just plain empty. God has been good even in the moments I couldn't see Him. There have been a few moments where even with my poor attitude I could see Him. Like when rummaging through a drawer I randomly found a sheet I tore off my calendar from August 25 with the following...

Psalm 107:27-30, "They reeled and staggered like a drunken man, and were at their wits' end. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He brought them out of their distresses. He caused the storm to be still, so that the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad because they were quiet; so He guided them to their desired haven." Do you feel threatened? Tell God. Cry to Him. He is never deaf to the cry of His child. Because you are His child and He is your Father, your well-being is His responsibility.

So, yeah, that was good, but it still didn't exactly make the past few hours smooth sailing. Oh well, such is life in the inbetween. The "inbetween" my faith and my screaming reality. Sometimes they don't match up, ya know. Anywho, I'm taking courage in the fact that as I sow in tears, I can look with hope to the moments when I will reap in joy. I know I will. I've seen God be faithful too many times in the past to doubt that it's coming. And let's face it. I'm in pre-camp mode. And not only is that crazy stressful and busy, but spiritually, it's just a lot more intense. And yet, the reward will be so great too. Oh, if I can just make it the 14 days until June 16th when I wake up at Camp Eagle to the beautiful sun coming up over the hills and on Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday and Friday when I get to watch all that God's going to do. It will be worth all this. I am confident of that.

So, if you're hating life today for whatever reason, if your sowing in tears today, take heart for the reaping will come. And if you're life is all daisys today, then maybe you can say a prayer for me that I'll find ways to rejoice while I'm stuck in the "inbetween."

Praise Jesus, here's where I'll be in two weeks! :)