25 September 2007

Best of the Wurst

So for a couple weeks now I've found myself writing stuff in my head...not sure if that's just the way I think or what, but I keep thinking of things to write about and then I never have time to actually write the verbosity down - or type it out for that matter. And so I'm home alone, well just me and the dogs that is, and felt like spitting some of that stuff out and alas, it seems that as time passes all those things that seemed really interesting at the time, really just aren't. But perhaps the randomness will be entertaining.

For instance - last week I learned on NPR about a sausage convention or consortium if you will (and I know you will) they were having somewhere in the midwest around Chicago or something. Okay, so you're thinking who cares? But the funny thing is that the name for it was going to be "The Best of the Wurst." Still, now, a week later, it makes me laugh out loud.

And then there's always the fodder that comes from driving the Katy Freeway everyday to and fro. One afternoon I saw this small white pickup truck with the words "Bert the Bug Guy." And I thought to myself, oh man, hope that guy's already married because I personally don't see that and think, "Gosh, nothing hotter than a bug guy!" I mean, really, not to be picky or anything, but there's nothing about a bug guy that's attractive. And then the really funny part is that I saw the same truck the very next day! How ironic - maybe God's trying to tell me something. No offense Bert, I'm sure you're a great guy, but I hope not.

And also, last week or so while driving on aforementioned Katy Fwy, I saw this man on the side of the feeder road pushing a large trash bin. Not the kind that people put on the curb on trash day, but the kind you see gypsies pushing in other countries. But even stranger was his wife I assume, walking about 20 feet behind him in a full black burka. For a minute I wasn't really sure what country I was in. Nothing funny about that story, just a strange moment for my brain.

Or I could write a page or two about the temper tantrum that I threw with God last Thursday night, but it wasn't really pretty so I'll spare you the details. Basically, I ranted and raved while I felt like God was ignoring me only to find out later in the evening when I was doing my best to avoid Him, that He actually was listening. Not sure why He even does that. Why He even lets me know He sees me and cares about me when I'm being so stiffnecked, but He often does. Sometimes of course, He lets me sweat it for a while as He's silent. That's the part I don't like. But I'm afraid it shows me what I'm really made of inside and how tiny my faith really is when it comes right down to it. I figure I at least have mustard seed-sized faith which is good since God can do something with even that. Why, oh why, do I doubt His goodness toward me? As if He hasn't done enough. Giving me life and all that and grace upon grace. God, help me trust you.

So didn't mean to get all deeply spiritual and melancholy on this post since I'm not feeling melancholy at all. In fact, I'm pretty "stoked" (just wanted to use that word) that I finally won a week in Fantasy Football. Of course, Sweet Pea Domination is still in second to last place, but after I steamroll my measly opponent this week, I'm sure I'll be heading up in the ranks.

Yep, well, I can't find any more yarns of eloquent phrases rolling around in my head so that's it. That's all she wrote. HAHAHAHAHAHA - so dumb, but still makes me laugh.

I have to say a couple years ago I had a good friend of mine telling me that I needed to write. So ever since then, I've tried to do more writing off and on, mostly off. But then sometimes there's this nagging feeling that God wants me to write and so I used to try to contemplate what and how and why I should write and to who and for what purpose. Aren't there enough words in the world as it is? But finally, as in just a couple months ago, it dawned on me. The writing is mostly just for me. Me and God perhaps. Well, not that it's for God, although sometimes it can be, but sometimes it's for me to figure out myself ya know, and what's really in my heart. I guess I used to feel like if I was going to write it needed to be for some great purpose or something, like I needed to change the world through it or maybe even just one person's world. But thankfully I've decided that's not the case. It's just about this life, mine. No, no, I know life's not all about me, but I need this. To write. To process my life. To process at least some of this stuff rumbling around in my head - all those silly and sacred things. I feel like if I don't, I'm going to miss out on life - on the richness and fullness of it. Maybe even miss what God's trying to speak to me in it. And that would be much too great a loss.

P.S. Have you read Romans 4 lately? Don't you want to have the kind of faith like Abraham did? It's easy to have faith when you see God for who He really is - a God who gives life to the dead and calls into being that which does not exist. A God who is able to perform that which He promised. I guess that whole speaking things into existence was fresh on my mind anyway because we taught on Genesis 1 this past Sunday. God just speaks things into existence. He just breathes and there is life. Now, that is something for me worth writing about. Gosh, I need this encouragement.


Dixon Ailesi said...

Oh my. I laughed along with you on Best of the Wurst and Bert the bug guy. And of course the others I sat down and contemplated. I get it though. The need to write something. Most of the time I think it's funny or moving or great and that's enough for me. I share because I care and others may need to laugh or be moved as well. Keep on writing!

rindy said...

Definitely a brain trip to see the gypsy trash can and burka clad wife! I can't even imagine seeing that scene around here. But, oh, how it brought back odd memories of the guys dangerously sliding down our hill in Dtas! love ya!

claymonster said...

Although "Best of the Wurst" is a terribly clever name for a sausage festival, I think I'm a little worried that you're listening to NPR (ha!).

On the writing front, I definitely think you should continue -- whether you are writing for God, yourself or others (or any combination thereof). You have a great talent here that should never be shelved (something about lights and bushels comes to mind). Not everyone can sort through the myriad thoughts that swirl in our heads and get them on paper period, much less in a thoughtful and stylish fashion. You have a unique spiritual insight and by writing you have the chance to bless others by sharing it. So keep it up! Oh, and I'll expect a little mention in the "thanks" section of your first book. :)