09 July 2008

I was just thinking...

that my brain may have had enough space the past couple days to actually think about posting. And I was thinking that I wasn't sure what to talk about and yet, there's so much I could talk about at the same time. My life has been extremely full since I last wrote and there's so very much I'd like to tell you about. And I was thinking about a scripture that might sum up my life the past month and yet, nothing jumped to mind so a thought came to me (hmmmm...wonder from Who it came?) why don't you read the psalm for today. You know, today's the 9th so how bout starting with Psalm 9. The first couple verses stopped me in my tracks. AbsoLUTEly perfect! God seemed to know exactly what my heart wanted to say...

Psalm 9 (The Message)
A David Psalm
I'm thanking you, God, from a full heart, I'm writing the book on your wonders. I'm whistling, laughing, and jumping for joy; I'm singing your song, High God.

The day my enemies turned tail and ran, they stumbled on you and fell on their faces. You took over and set everything right; when I needed you, you were there, taking charge.

Wow, my heart is thankful for all that I've seen God do the last month or so. When I was completely empty, overwhelmed, and unsure, He took over and set everything right. He was right there when I needed Him, taking charge. I love that He takes charge. I don't know if it's just because I'm a woman or just because I'm so aware of my neediness and smallness, but I love it when He takes charge. Just makes me feel...safe, protected, sure, at rest. That's something God's teaching me these days. To rest. Just rest. You know, the opposite of striving, fretting, stressing, even doing. God truly has given me a time of rest both physically and spiritually and it is wonderful. It's part of why my head feels like I have space. I don't know if that makes sense to anybody, but sometimes my head can be so full of details and to do lists and analyzing and keeping up that there's no room to actually think, ponder, meditate, breathe. Weird I suppose, but my brain needs to breathe every now and then. And so, I feel like my body and my spirit and my mind have finally found time to take a deep full breath. Ahhhhhh. Wonderful.

And so after all that, I still haven't really told you anything, have I? Well, first of all, I made it through camp. Actually, I did more than make it through. God's goodness and supply were abundantly sufficient. Most of you already know by now that our camp speaker wasn't able to come at the last minute and so several of us found out the Thursday before camp that we'd be speaking for one of the big general sessions. Wow, that was a stretching experience - the journey of speaking to close to 400 people. Yikes. God was amazing! He taught me SOOOOOOO much. He convicted me. He changed me. He gave me strength. He breathed life into me. And He breathed life into dry bones that night. And the entire week was simply amazing. The sunshine and thunderstorms, the brilliant full moon, watching kids' faces, seeing their tears, seeing their laughter, just being able to stand back and watch it all was amazing. God was at work and everyone knew it. It's like He worked in such a way that no one could take the credit. It was all Him.

And even outside of and after camp, God has just been so, I don't know, just real to me. Speaking to me! Listening to me! And letting me know that I actually am hearing His voice and letting me know that He actually is hearing mine. Incredible. Teaching me things. Showing me things. For instance, last night I went to our college Bible Study and we were meditating for a few minutes on the Lord's Prayer. Have you ever thought about the fact that Jesus tells us to pray, "Give us this day our DAILY bread"? Just our daily, not what we need or want or think we will need next week or next month or next year. But just to ask for his daily provision. What do I need today. I've often thought about God giving grace and provision like manna, on a as-you-need basis, not on a excessive-more-than-you- need-today basis, but I never thought about that's how we should pray and ask and expect. Today. Don't worry about tomorrow. Ask for today. Or, learning that the Lord's Prayer shows us so much about who God is - Father, Holy, King with a kingdom and purpose and will, Giver, Forgiver, Leader, and Deliverer. Huge. Revealing Himself to me. Oh man, I'm so grateful to be in this time, here, right now. I've known silent times and dark times and questioning times and so I'm thankful for this time in a broad place. A place with space. A place of faith building and rest and trusting and hope and recovery. So thankful. I feel like so many of you feel stuck in different places and God won't seem to let you leave. I simply don't know what to do with that other than pray that you will soak up all who He is in your time, in the time that God has given you. He is a God of purpose. He reveals Himself in all things, even silence. Hang on. I really believe the dawn, the wide open space, the broad place, the safe place,really is coming for you. Because whether you feel like it or not, his Word is true. He is there when you need Him, taking charge. Rest in that today, friend. Deeply breathe it in and rest.

And just for fun and because I love other people's pics, here's a few...one of those crazy pics I love to take myself after a fabulous lunch catching up with Annetta and Amanda, my senior girls who are LEAVING ME in another month or so, and my nephew and I and my new Turkish friend, Ozge, who spent her first night in America with us before heading down south for a few months. It was so much fun speaking turklish with her, and she even brought me some visne, that's cherry juice and it was one of my most favorite things in Turkey! It was so guzel! :)


rindy said...

Beccacim! I love what you write. I love what God is doing in and through you. I am always encouraged after reading your blog and emails. I need to just call you sometime soon. I'll be in America the next couple of weeks. We'll have to talk. Send me your phone number. Love you!!!!!

Amy said...

Reading this today was a blessing in the midst of difficulty. Thanks!